money

She must have been worried by just thinking about me. Gullible, clumsy, inexperienced and too kind to survive in this world. Am I? Should I be more practical and real to internalise that the world is cruel and that if you don’t save something for yourself, you will be starved to death when in need? Everything I did, being kind and generous to people (or at least that is what I am thinking) seems of utter stupidity to her because I am surviving on her money, not mine. I am giving away her money and making her at the losing end. I am spending her money which she is only willing to hand to me to use for my own good. If you want to do charity, do it here, right at this family because she needs the money but only if you can earn your own penny. Maybe I should stop being a hypocrite. Maybe I should just use what is totally mine, not money because I don’t own any.