Revamp

I never knew that changing a blogskin can give me such a strangely refreshing feeling. It is like wearing new clothes or having a new look. I wouldn't go as far as having a different perspective because that would depend on the content itself. I always think that my StarWar skin, where Hayden Christensen's big handsome face takes up most of the limited space, causes my eyes to work too hard when i tried to re-read what has happened for the past year. Now that the font is bigger, the spacing is wider and the colour contrast is clear, hopefully the blog will be an easy read.

Watching her going through her struggles silently is painful... I realised how little I can control. I can only change the things that are put under my charge. Nothing more... Lord, I leave them to You. It's Your turn now.

How do you know that God exists? Ever since I accepted Christ at the age of 17, I have never really pondered seriously on this question. How do you know for sure..?
You know, others can describe to you their marvelous, thrilling, unforgettable, transforming experience with God but you only know God exists when you have your own story to tell or stories if you are lucky. You can ask God for the experience everyday but only God knows when you will need it. It is His discretion.
Dear God, please grant me perseverance in your relationship and allow me to experience You at your right timing. Amen.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Roman 12:2

The long overdue decision has been made finally. Without the incident, perhaps I would have never changed my mind. I have learned that not everyone gives freely without expecting anything in return even though they appear so. The reverse is actually truer. Think twice before accepting what others give you. Don't receive things immediately because many times, people do not mean what they say.

My mum used to tell me that some people start to get nasty to you when you are of no value to them and when you need to take more than you are able to give. So to avoid situation where you are looked down, be smart and helpful, know your position. But it hurt this time round though after all it may just be misunderstanding. I am not gonna clarify anything. I doubt if it will be of any help.

But thank you lord for allowing me to stay with Anna and Dung. I am thankful for the place and the people. I am thankful for my parents too. Now i understand the proverb 'there is no place like home'.

We've got to take care of our feelings

I was a little taken aback by what my Accounting teacher said today. He said, " We've got to take care of our feelings." Perhaps this may sound a little bizarre, coming from an Accounting teacher. Let me tell you the context of this. We had an accounting quiz today. After all the papers were handed in, our teacher decided to show us the answers. But he suggested that those who don't want to know, may leave. And I agree that some people really take study seriously so knowing how much you have done wrongly immediately after such a tough paper is not really an enjoyable experience. He reasoned, "we've got to take care of our feelings."
Accounting is a subject of rationalisation and logic. We don't refer to feelings and emotions casually. So you can imagine the mismatch of the statement did trigger some giggle among the class.
Nevertheless, like I said, I was caught by surprise. I think it makes sense. Besides caring way too much about the results, we need to look after our inner feelings and to make sure that they aren't destructive. Feelings are part of who we are. Even if negative feelings surface, they are definitely good indicators of how we perceive things.Knowing the condition of our heart and acknowledging that we feel a certain way about something helps us to know ourselves better. Perhaps emotions is one aspect that you can hardly find in accounting lessons and perhaps delivering results is not the only paramount element.

Having stayed in this little double room for almost 2 semesters, I have gradually grown some attachment to it. A long table that stretches almost the full width of the room is for both of us to study-cherry and I. An empty table is almost an impossible thing because we both will make sure either books or some food occupies some space on the table. I enjoy sitting at this table to do things I like, apart from the arduous journey of compulsory study. I like sitting with my legs crossed up on the blue plastic chair when doing my work. It gives the feeling of being totally comfortable at home. This is my room. I am ‘home’.
Our wardrobes are most of the time open, showing off the fashion collection accumulated from periodical trips to shopping malls. Our room only has a long table, a book shelf that is directly above the table, wardrobes and beds. Simple interior but definitely comfy enough as a shelter. Thank you God for your provision. I really like my room.